“Can’t Never Could”
Many times in my life I have found myself in challenging positions whether it is because of a decision I made with good intentions gone bad or due to a career in a very challenging environment. Every day I get up I do not allow myself to say “I can’t do it.” No matter what “it” is. I’m a firm believer that “Can’t Never Could.” The very second the words come out of your mouth and you hear yourself say “I can’t do it” then guess what… you can’t. You have condemned yourself to failure.
It all starts when you were a child…
- “I can’t cook”
- “I can’t swim”
- “I can’t ride a bike”
It changes a little now that we are adults…
- “I can’t speak Spanish”
- “I can’t speak to large crowds”
- “I can’t because I don’t know anything about computers”
- “I can’t because I’m scared”
Do any of these sound familiar? What do all of these have in common? Where do they all stem from inside us? FEAR. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being embarrassed. Fear of failure. Overcoming our fears as a child can lead us into being a stronger adult. For all the fears that we may have never conquered as a child it is now our goal as an adult to push them aside and not allow them to keep us from a prosperous future.
Can you do it?
I can tell you when I’m asked “Can you do this?” (whatever it is) if it’s something that’s going to impact my life and my family’s life in a positive way then my answer will always be “Yes I can!”
- Does this mean I’m going to struggle? Yes, it very well may mean exactly that.
- Does this mean I may screw up? Yes, that is possible.
- Does this mean I will have to work longer and harder than others around me that already have the experience, the education or the money to buy better tools for the job? Yes, it means that too. But I don’t care. I know that when I say I can do it I mean it and I know that I’m the only person I need to convince to make that happen!
Same goes for you!
You are in total control over what you will and will not do!
You can say “I can” and possibly make your life and your family’s life better.
Or, you can say “I can’t” and never know what you are capable of accomplishing.
Stepping Stones on the Path to Our Success
There are stepping-stones in our paths to a good life. We are not going to like all the steps we may have to take to get where we want to be but as long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other and stay on the path you will succeed.
On the path to our success, sometimes, we may go down a few rough roads, trip and fall in a few mud holes and maybe even come to a complete stop right in the middle of what feels like the most important times in our lives.
We’ll feel ourselves begin to stress more, focus less and the negativity will start to creep in and steal your motivation, drain your energy and, if you allow it, cause you to quit. So don’t. Do not allow the fear of failure to open the gates to negative thinking.
Keep your eyes looking forward.
Keep your chin up and your feet moving even if it’s one step at a time!
This is a time for learning from these experiences, both good and bad. Here are some of the skills that may develope during this time:
- Better decisions
- What Not to do
- Improved procedures
- Broader insight more capable of seeing the bigger picture
- A more Positive self-image
- Confidence and Experience replaces your fears.
- Communication skills may begin to build bridges between what was, what is and what will be!
Going through this vortex of twists and turns can be treacherous to our self-esteem, stamina and faith in our capabilities. Once we make it past the first few scary steps it gets smoother. We start to learn the lingo. Start to feel more comfortable in our surroundings. Decisions are more confident, goals more realistic and the focus sharpens and narrows in on priorities to reach the goals that have been carefully laid out. These are all necessary stepping-stones that will help us to appreciate all that we accomplished to make it when we begin to see the finish line on the horizon. So cast away all doubts, stay the course and when you get there look back with pride because you never quit. Quitting is not an option!
People that want to learn will have the capability to learn something every day. They are literally like a sponge and just want to absorb everything around them.
People that choose, yes I said choose because it is a choice, not to learn and use words and thoughts like “I can’t” or “I won’t”… those same people will struggle more and possibly never get where they think they should be in life but then they also tend to want something they have not earned and expect unrealistic rewards for doing very little to try to achieve them. Try to stay your distance from this type of person. Think of their attitude as a contagious disease and you do not want to be infected! And PLEASE… MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT THAT PERSON ALREADY! Take a good, long look in the mirror and listen to yourself as you comment to those around you. Denial is a very powerful mental disorder that hurts millions daily.
It’s okay to Pat yourself on the Back
Some goals take longer than others and some come at a higher price but as long as your goals and expectations are realistic and set at a healthy balanced level you should be able to track your achievements. You will one day look back and just be amazed at what you have accomplished! Just don’t forget to appreciate all you have done to get where you are! Do not make the mistake of only looking at what you have not accomplished yet. Give yourself a pat on the back, it is allowed!
Don’t compare your goals to somebody else’s!
The goals you set in your life are custom-made and just for you and your family. Everyone is different. Everyone’s family has different circumstances. Do not assume that what worked for your friends, family members or neighbors will work for you and your family. You must customize it to an individual plan based on your family’s needs and wants in order to keep the momentum needed to achieve success. A false goal is like worshiping a false faith. Your heart will not be in it and that could cause you to falter.
We Can Be Our Own Worst Enemy
Let me repeat myself… WE ARE OUR WORST ENEMY!
Nobody else can make us screw up a good thing faster than us all by our lonesome. Nobody else is to blame either. Nobody can force me to do something that I know is going to impact my life or my family’s life in a negative way… but me, myself and I.
For whatever the reason is, our little brains can come up with a way to justify everything we do. Somehow we can convince ourselves that it’s okay to over extend our credit or put off our education. Make us think we didn’t really need to work those extra hours to make sure the project was completed and meet the set deadlines and deliverable dates required by the contracts. If you start to allow yourself to feel like a victim instead of a powerhouse then your mind will start to allow these types of thoughts to slip into the corners of your mind and take root. Once planted a seed normally grows. So if you don’t want to allow the negative thoughts to fill your head and keep you from being successful don’t ever let it start to begin with. Don’t start none won’t be none! Keep your yin and yang in check! 😉
In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang (also yin-yang or yin yang, 陰陽 yīnyáng “dark—bright”) describes how opposite or contrary forces are actually complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another.
Don’t allow Entitlement to sneak up on YOU!
These are all everyday issues that can effect millions of people just like ourselves. We wear ourselves down, don’t communicate well with our peers and ask for assistance when it was really needed so things start to fall behind. Then, when our own energy levels start to break down and disappear, it takes our motivation with it too. Why would we let this happen? Why didn’t we work those few extra hours to stay on top of things? Okay, here’s the answer and it’s not pretty… because we begin to feel ENTITLED. This is a weakness caused by our emotions that are created when you have a combination of ownership in your station in life and a resentment of not being appreciated. This combination of emotions twist and turn inside us until it causes a vortex effect which makes our thought process start to go in several different directions and pulls us off of our path. Remember that where your mind takes you your body will follow! It pulls us into the realm of self-pity and can take down some of the smartest, strongest people I’ve known within just a few years time. It is a difficult thing to watch unfold before your very own eyes. And it is also very difficult to not get pulled into the negative thought patterns that develop during the experience. In the end the one that allowed the negativity to take over always ends up leaving either by choice or by dismissal. It never ends good.
Quitting is NOT an option… so get over it and go on with it! 😉
Thank you for visiting!
Hope you can apply positive ideals to your world and do great things!